Why Golfers Struggle with Unrealistic Expectations (And How to Fix It)

Hello friends and golfers! Coach Erik Schjolberg here, and I'm excited to share some insights into my coaching philosophy and how I leverage technology to help golfers of all levels achieve their goals. Find coach Erik for Scottsdale Golf Lessons with EJS Golf in Scottsdale, Arizona at the McCormick Ranch Golf Course.  For those of you elsewhere in the world, check out my Online Golf Lessons.  I use a science-driven, feedback-focused approach that combines cutting-edge tools like Trackman, 3D video analysis, and ground reaction force measurement. This allows me to provide personalized instruction tailored to each golfer's unique needs and aspirations.

Golf is a game of patience, skill, and mental resilience, yet many golfers approach it with unrealistic expectations. They step onto the course believing they should hit perfect drives, sink every putt inside ten feet, and drop their handicap significantly within a few months. And when things don’t go as planned? Frustration sets in.

If you’ve ever left the course feeling defeated, wondering why your game isn’t where you think it should be, you’re not alone. Unrealistic expectations plague golfers of all skill levels. But why do so many of us expect too much too soon, and more importantly, how can we fix it?

The Root of Unrealistic Expectations in Golf

There are several reasons why golfers set the bar too high, often without realizing it. Some of it comes from external influences, while other factors stem from a misunderstanding of the game itself.

Professional Golf Warps Reality

It’s no surprise that golfers want to emulate the pros. After all, watching Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, or Scottie Scheffler makes the game look effortless. The way they shape shots, control distances, and drain long putts seems almost second nature.

But here’s what’s often forgotten: television only shows the highlights. You don’t see the thousands of practice hours they put in, the missed shots that don’t make the broadcast, or the mental grind it takes to perform at that level.

The reality? Even the best golfers in the world miss fairways, misread putts, and struggle in pressure situations. If they don’t play perfect golf, why should you expect yourself to?

Golf is Harder Than It Looks

Unlike sports where the playing environment remains constant—a basketball hoop is always ten feet high, a soccer goal never changes in size—golf is completely different.

Every round presents new challenges:

• The wind may shift mid-shot.

• Greens can roll faster or slower than expected.

• A single bad bounce can turn a great shot into a disaster.

Despite this, many golfers expect to play consistently well without accounting for these variables. But golf isn’t just about talent—it’s about adapting.

The Ego Factor

For many golfers, expectations aren’t just personal—they’re tied to how they think others perceive them.

• No one wants to be the weakest player in their foursome.

• Nobody enjoys struggling while their playing partners stripe it down the middle.

• A few bad holes can feel embarrassing, especially when paired with better players.

This need to prove oneself often leads to unrealistic goals. Instead of focusing on gradual improvement, golfers feel pressure to impress others, which ultimately takes the fun out of the game.

The Misconception of Rapid Improvement

Golfers love the idea of overnight success. After a good range session, a lesson with a pro, or a few solid holes in one round, they start believing real improvement has arrived. Then, when the next round doesn’t go as planned, the frustration kicks in.

Golf improvement isn’t linear. One day, everything clicks, and the next, you feel like you’ve never held a club before. Learning to accept this ebb and flow is key to managing expectations.

How Unrealistic Expectations Hurt Your Game

Many golfers don’t realize how much their mindset affects their performance. When you expect perfection, every small mistake feels like a massive failure.

Frustration Leads to Poor Decision-Making

Picture this: You just sliced a drive into the trees. Frustrated, you attempt a low punch shot through a tiny gap, rather than playing safe and chipping back to the fairway. The result? You clip a branch, the ball drops into deeper trouble, and now you’re looking at double bogey (or worse).

This happens all the time. Unrealistic expectations create a cycle of frustration, leading to risky, emotionally driven decisions instead of smart ones.

You Stop Enjoying the Game

When was the last time you truly enjoyed a round of golf? If you’re constantly frustrated, chances are you’re focusing too much on outcomes rather than the experience.

Golf is supposed to be fun, yet many players turn it into a personal battle against unrealistic standards. Instead of appreciating the fresh air, the challenge, or even just a well-struck shot, they dwell on the negatives.

Swing Changes Become an Endless Cycle

If you expect immediate results, you’re more likely to tinker too much. A few bad shots? You change your grip. Another slice? Maybe it’s your stance. Before long, you’re trapped in a constant state of adjustment, never allowing yourself to settle into a rhythm.

The best players understand that consistency beats perfection. Instead of overhauling their swing after one bad round, they stick with their fundamentals and trust the process.

Common Unrealistic Expectations in Golf (And the Truth!)

Let’s take a moment to bust some common golf myths that lead to frustration.

✅ Expectation: "I should hit every fairway."
❌ Reality: Even tour pros miss fairways 30-50% of the time.

✅ Expectation: "My handicap should drop quickly."
❌ Reality: Improvement happens in small increments. Even a one-stroke drop can take months of practice.

✅ Expectation: "I should never three-putt."
❌ Reality: Even PGA Tour players three-putt multiple times per tournament. At 32 feet is when we see the PGA average putts go to 2.01.

✅ Expectation: "If I take a lesson, I will get worse at golf before I get better."
❌ Reality: Most golfers should improve immediately.

✅ Expectation: "I should shoot the same score every round or better."
❌ Reality: Golf performance fluctuates due to countless factors, including course conditions, mindset, and yes, there are days you get more breaks than others.

How to Set Realistic Golf Goals

So how do you reset your expectations and actually enjoy golf while improving? It starts with shifting your mindset.

✅ Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

Instead of expecting instant improvement, track your progress over time. Small victories add up.

A great goal might be:
✔️ Improving your greens in regulation percentage
✔️ Reducing your three-putts
✔️ Making smarter decisions under pressure

✅ Compare Yourself to Past You, Not Others

Your only competition is your past self. Instead of worrying about how others are playing, focus on your own improvement.

✅ Learn to Embrace Mistakes

Missed shots aren’t failures—they’re lessons. The sooner you accept this, the less stress you’ll feel on the course.

Ask yourself:
❓ "What can I learn from that shot?"
❓ "How can I adjust next time?"

This approach will lower frustration and boost confidence.

✅ Keep Golf Fun

At its core, golf is just a game. If you’re not having fun, what’s the point?

Enjoy the walk, appreciate the challenge, and celebrate the small wins. Not every round will be great, but if you keep the game fun, you’ll play better in the long run.

Final Thoughts

Unrealistic expectations are one of the biggest mental roadblocks in golf. They create frustration, take away enjoyment, and ultimately hurt your performance. But by shifting your focus to progress instead of perfection, you can unlock a better mindset, lower scores, and a more enjoyable experience on the course.

Next time you step up to the first tee, remember: Golf is a journey, not a destination. Play smart, stay patient, and most importantly—enjoy the game!

Have you struggled with unrealistic expectations in golf? Share your experience in the comments! 🏌️‍♂️

Coach Erik Schjolberg

The Science of Better Golf

EJS Golf

Scottsdale Golf Lessons

Online Golf Lessons

(480) 861-9370